If Operating Systems Were racing cars

February 14, 2007 at 12:12 pm 3 comments

Unix

Every team member brings one piece of this car along when they come to the circuit. They all go out on the pit and put the car together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of car they are supposed to be building.


Dos

Every team member pushes the car until it starts, then the driver tries to accelerates until it automatically stops again. Then they push again, driver accelerates again, and so on…

Mac

All the parts of the car – engines, transmission, aerodynamics, and steering wheel look and act exactly the same. Every time the driver asks questions about details, he is gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up and drive.

Windows

The car is pretty and colorful, with friendly transmission, easy steering and handling, and firm brakes. After about 10 minutes on the track, the car crashes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT

Just like Windows, but costs more, uses much bigger tyres, and takes out all the other cars within a 10-mile radius when it crashes.

Windows XP

Can run on track,which is under contract to only allow XP cars. All the cars are identical, brightly colored and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. The car will not start until you have signed a contract. The joy of driving promised turns out to be the biggest disappointment. No matter how much care you take driving this, it will crash like all the other windows cars.

Windows Vista

There are at least 7 variants of this cars and no one is sure about which car is best suited for which track. Suppose be more stable but requires more fuel. The engine, transmission, steering etc have been borrowed from XP but the body has been completely revamped and therefore it looks new and very attractive.

Linux

Distressed team members of all the other teams decide to make their own car. They build the engines, tyres, and pave the circuit themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. The driver is given the steering, and a copy of the start-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the car takes least amount of time to complete a lap, without a single problem. The joy of driving this car is wonderful. The driver tries to tell other drivers about the great drive, but all they can say is, “But how do you start?”

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Entry filed under: Humor.

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. net4dollars  |  March 25, 2007 at 1:54 am

    This reminds of an even older techno-nerd saying…
    “If carpenters built buildings the same way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilation!”

    I always loved that one.

    Another old programmer nugget..
    “See boy…(I WAS a boy then) you have your FIFO queues (first-in-first-out), you have your LIFO queues (last-in-first-out) and you have your FISH queues….wait for it…First-In-Still-Here!’

    Do any techies today even know what a queue (FIFO, LIFO or FISH) is?

    Don’t feel bad if you don’t know. That just means the old-timers did their jobs. They’re still around but you just don’t see them.

    Reply
  • 2. Santadelic  |  September 24, 2007 at 3:03 am

    I like that post. Reminds me of all the trouble I have with my computers (1 mac, 2 PCs and 1 Linux). The first time I crashed my brand new Mac was by opening the trial version of Microsoft Office. Since I flushed it I never crashed my Mac again. And wy would I pay for software I can get for free like Open Office?

    Reply
  • 3. writernate  |  November 18, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Pretty amusing… and makes sense too. Linux is good, but just installing can kill many users. Unix… I know little about…. meh. Windows is of course shiny, but an unstable (at times) hog (all the time). And Mac…. well let’s just say the Neanderthals will soon be making a comeback.

    Reply

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