How will the deal take shape ?
One day Naresh Goyal of Jet Airways got off his bed and suddenly the fever of becoming the number one player of the Indian Airline Industry creeped in. Therefore, he decides to buy one of its competitor – Air Sahara. The fever was partly due to the fear of the other low cost airlines and another newly lauched rich looking Kingfisher Airlines. So he thought this acquisition will strengthen its position in the market. He calls the Air Sahara guy Mr.Subrata Roy….
N.G: Hi Roy. This is Naresh Goyal, your competitor.
S.R: Oh…Mr.Goyal. How come you called us today? Tell me, what can I do for you.
N.G: A thought stuck me today morning and I would like to buy your Air Sahara.
S.R: Did you think I am some kind of vegetable vendor who is out everyday morning to sell stuff and make a living?
N.G: No. But I can give you a good deal for this. I know Air Sahara is into losses and you actually want to sell it.
S.R: You better not leak this information. But why do you want to buy it?
N.G: I see stiff competion from that Gopi's airlines and the others who have started giving seats for one rupee. I think these guy's are running some ST bus in air with a passenger in the pilot's seat also. Forget all that. I think our deal will shake the whole market.
S.R: One billion dollars.
N.G: What? Don't forget you are selling only the airplanes not the airports along with them. I think 250 million is the perfect price.
S.R: For this price only Gopi can sell his planes. I cannot. Lets make it 750.
N.G: Even this is too high. Ok. Not your's not mine. 500. Now don't bargain. 500 means 500.
S.R: hmmmmm…..Ok. As you say. But you should pay full cash.
N.G: That's fine. But the deal includes everything. Air Sahara's assets, infrastructure etc..
S.R: Ok, Done. Let sign the deal. Pay some token amount.
N.G: Okay, will pay a little advance and the rest when we sign the papers. Bye.
S.R: Bye. Will meet you soon.
Naresh Goyal gets ready and goes to his office. He tells his Finance Manager about the plan(without disclosing the figures) and asks him to deposit the advance amount in the back.
After a few days an agreement comes from the Air Sahara office and the finance manager faints in his chair. After getting back to normal he rushes to Mr. Goyal.
F.M: May I come in, Sir.
N.G: Yes. Please, take your seat.
F.M: What did you do this, sir?
N.G: What? We are going to be the number in the Indian market. Isn't it good?
F.M: Its good but do you know how much is $500 million. Its around 2,300 crores of rupees. Even after selling all the Jet planes you will not be able to make that sum. From where are you planning to get this money, Sir.
N.G: Oh..I never thought about this.
F.M: Now, since you have thought about it, call Air Sahara and cancel the deal away or ask for some time to do calculations. Tell them, the amount is not fair enough and we would like to make another offer.
N.G: No, I cannot do that. I have already promised this sum and we have also paid the advance.
F.M: Tell them some shit reason and halt this deal otherwise instead of being in air we all will come to the roads. Tell them that the ministry is creating some problems…tell them something.
N.G: Okay. Let me see what can I do?
The manager goes out of the room and Mr. Goyal calls Mr. Subrata Roy again.
N.G: Mr. Roy..Its me Naresh Goyal.
S.R: Hi, Mr Goyal. How are you today? Or rather, what do you want to buy today?
N.G: No, Mr. Roy. I want to talk about the old deal of ours.
S.R: Air Sahara!! Tell me, what can I do for you?
N.G: The Indian ministers are creating problems for this deal.
S.R: Is it ministers or someone else? I know a lot and them and none and them have problem with this deal. Tell me, what is it ?
S.R: It's ok tell. We are all from the same industry.
N.G: The problem is that now I think that $500 million is too high. Can you come down a little?
S.R: Make it 499. Just for you otherwise……
N.G: 499 is also too high. After selling everything including my Amby valley bunglow, I can pay you around 350.
S.R: 350 is too low, Mr.Goyal. Lets make it 450. Full and final..450. Flat 450..Ok.
N.G: Even this is kind of high. I will be short of around 5 million even after selling myself along with my under garments.
S.R: Ok. Then, let's do one thing. I would like to buy Jet for $350 million.
Entry filed under: Humor.